have just come back from a week long vacation which I spent with my mom. Now me and my mom have a wonderful relationship when we live in different cities, but after three days of being together 24/7 it became obvious that we have a problem understanding each other. I seemed to find faults in almost all of her words or actions. I have been thinking a lot about why I behaved that way and I have tried what I call it the 'why-technique'. That is when you talk to yourself preferably in front of a mirror: you say your problem and then ask the question why. I answer that question and then again ask why. For example:
- I have a problem with my mother, I find faults with everything she does
- Why do you find fault with your mother?
- because I want to prove myself right.
- Why do you want to prove yourself right?
- Because I don't want to feel as a child who doesn't know what is right.
- Why don't you want to feel as a child?
- Because as a child I felt that my mom loved me less than my sister.
So here, I have the answer to my question. That was why I felt rebellious. And now that I knew the answer, I knew how to deal with it. Of course this behaviour didn't stop in an ink of the moment, but now I was aware of my feelings and every time I felt bitter I would tell myself that even if that was true in my childhood, it was not true now. My mom did a great in bringing up my sister and me and the way she expressed her love was the best way she knew how to do it. She has done a lot for me and has always been great support. I love you, mom and I am willing to work on letting you know how I feel.